Recently I realized that the reason I was still living was because I had enough from myself to give to others to get them to smile.
But lately I haven't been able to see anyone smiling.
So why do I keep on living my life?
A) If I take my own life I would be defying God's will.
B) I don't want God to be mad.
C) I'm afraid of death and pain.
I want the first half of 2010 back when I still had 4 siblings at home, when I was very hardworking in reaching my goals, when I didn't get a stupid crush that ruined me and pushed me towards the wrong path.
It's not that I don't like life. I just want something so awesome, so amazing, so beautiful to happen to me, well I don't know, right now??? I want to taste spirit and inspiration again.
Please, please, I pray, let 2011 be a year of joy and spirit and not one filled with a grey cloud with no silver lining.
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