I'm scared of myself and my thoughts.
How did I ever turned up this messed up?
I honestly, don't know...
Why did someone as messed up as me get this wonderful opportunity to further her studies when so many other people out there deserve this chance more than myself.
I pity my parents a lot.
They got stuck with this kid, who's really good for nothing but just to think.
Why am I so bipolar?
Why do I go from one extreme emotion to a practically listless one?
I hate troubling others so much.
But I really wish there was someone I can depend on.
The truth is, I really don't see much point in me continuing to live because I won't be able to do what I want to do and what I should do instead is work as someone I don't want to become and as a result I'm not even concentrating on that because I don't want to do that which is really.... really bad
And even the thing that I want to do... I can't find happiness in it anymore because... because...
I get so discouraged when I see other artists who are much better than me and I begin to wonder, how can I succeed in such an industry?
I really have no talent.
All the so-called beautiful drawings that I've posted up are based on loads of calculations.
I.. there are so many thoughts in my head now.. they're swimming around and I really can't concentrate.
What can change this? What can bring me out of this?
Have you ever thought of doing art as a hobby on the side and continuing your studies so you have something to fall back on? If you do get really at art is when you can truly be dependent on your craft. I bet there are plenty of good artists who struggle to make a living. It's too bad we don't live in a world where we can spend all our time doing the things we want. It's too bad we live in the "real world"
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