I just read another manga which is really good and so I am just a bit more fired up to study.
I will take a shower and then do a heck load of notes.
Ganbatte! :D
Friday, June 28, 2013
Career woman
Yesterday we had an evaluation review on our final project and truth be truth, I was really scared that I'd get a low mark since our project was extremely simple compared to the rest of my classmates' project.
It was technically an elliptically shaped doughnut.
Maybe it was the concept and the principle behind it, I don't know, but we got an A for it. And only two projects got an A, ours and one Chinese guy.
It could be the way we represented the project as well.
I am truthfully extremely thankful and grateful as well as a bit proud that we got an A because for this project, we spent a lot of time on it. I can't even count the number of hours we took just to make the 1:20 model but it was definitely more than 24 hours.
On a side note, I am also really happy and yes, a bit proud, because the professors really loved the drawings that I drew.
I did the drawing of the plan and section of our building, an extension of an existing aquarium that will contain a shark and a jellyfish, and they couldn't stop saying "Bellissima!" and "Brava!" and it was a bit embarrassing but I felt pleased all the same that they loved it because for that drawing I spent close to 6 hours to complete.
I also did a sketch of how our building looks like in the shark room and in the jellyfish room and they really loved that as well so much that one of them said that it should be framed hahaha. That was really nice of him to say that considering the fact that I really don't think it looked really spectacular.
What made me more happy about it is that the head professor (we got on bad terms with him a couple of weeks ago and he kind of got really pissed at us and I almost cried which is really embarrassing) actually smiled when he saw that drawing as he was on his way to the front of the classroom and we were sitting right in front.
Then he asked "Who is the painter of this drawing?" (lol, I just used colour pencils) and I raised my hand slightly and he complimented me and I felt really happy because, in a way hopefully, it means I have artistic talents so when I pursue my dream, I will be somewhat successful.
I think that I'm very lucky, academically-wise that is.
For some reason, even though I may not be 100% into it, I'm still able to get really good scores.
And that's why, I think, I don't do too well relationship-wise. I am still awkward with a heck lot of my classmates and I'm only really close with some people but that's just the way it is. One of the ways to balance me out I suppose although I don't enjoy it exactly.
It's a bit sad that I don't really dream about becoming architecture as it seems as though I could be successful as an architect.
In the end, I'm just looking for a way to really express myself because, perhaps, that is my main goal in life.
It was technically an elliptically shaped doughnut.
Maybe it was the concept and the principle behind it, I don't know, but we got an A for it. And only two projects got an A, ours and one Chinese guy.
It could be the way we represented the project as well.
I am truthfully extremely thankful and grateful as well as a bit proud that we got an A because for this project, we spent a lot of time on it. I can't even count the number of hours we took just to make the 1:20 model but it was definitely more than 24 hours.
On a side note, I am also really happy and yes, a bit proud, because the professors really loved the drawings that I drew.
I did the drawing of the plan and section of our building, an extension of an existing aquarium that will contain a shark and a jellyfish, and they couldn't stop saying "Bellissima!" and "Brava!" and it was a bit embarrassing but I felt pleased all the same that they loved it because for that drawing I spent close to 6 hours to complete.
I also did a sketch of how our building looks like in the shark room and in the jellyfish room and they really loved that as well so much that one of them said that it should be framed hahaha. That was really nice of him to say that considering the fact that I really don't think it looked really spectacular.
What made me more happy about it is that the head professor (we got on bad terms with him a couple of weeks ago and he kind of got really pissed at us and I almost cried which is really embarrassing) actually smiled when he saw that drawing as he was on his way to the front of the classroom and we were sitting right in front.
Then he asked "Who is the painter of this drawing?" (lol, I just used colour pencils) and I raised my hand slightly and he complimented me and I felt really happy because, in a way hopefully, it means I have artistic talents so when I pursue my dream, I will be somewhat successful.
I think that I'm very lucky, academically-wise that is.
For some reason, even though I may not be 100% into it, I'm still able to get really good scores.
And that's why, I think, I don't do too well relationship-wise. I am still awkward with a heck lot of my classmates and I'm only really close with some people but that's just the way it is. One of the ways to balance me out I suppose although I don't enjoy it exactly.
It's a bit sad that I don't really dream about becoming architecture as it seems as though I could be successful as an architect.
In the end, I'm just looking for a way to really express myself because, perhaps, that is my main goal in life.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
The Knife That Fell Into The Water
The more that I'm plunged into the world of architecture, the more I realise just how much I want to be a mangaka.
I really did thought that it was just a rebellious phase, something which I could use as an escape tool whenever I get bored of being pushed towards something but after several months, I know that I want to do this.
Naturally of course I won't be able to pursue this dream unless I can already support myself and adding to that obstacle, I also don't know how to read, write, or even speak Japanese but I really want to be able to transport someone to another place using illustrations and simple words.
I was reading a manga since yesterday called Oboreru Knife and when I looked at the name of the author/artist who did it, it was a foreigner's name, George Asakura and I thought it was a foreigner but actually she's a Japanese woman. So maybe it'd be okay if a non-Japanese person published something as long as her identity isn't hidden? I'm not sure what I even mean by that.
For now I'm just going to keep drawing and thinking and plotting and hopefully one day I will be able to live in Japan and to fulfill this dream that I have. The only one I have as for now.
And thus, I will now go back to my assignment.
I really did thought that it was just a rebellious phase, something which I could use as an escape tool whenever I get bored of being pushed towards something but after several months, I know that I want to do this.
Naturally of course I won't be able to pursue this dream unless I can already support myself and adding to that obstacle, I also don't know how to read, write, or even speak Japanese but I really want to be able to transport someone to another place using illustrations and simple words.
I was reading a manga since yesterday called Oboreru Knife and when I looked at the name of the author/artist who did it, it was a foreigner's name, George Asakura and I thought it was a foreigner but actually she's a Japanese woman. So maybe it'd be okay if a non-Japanese person published something as long as her identity isn't hidden? I'm not sure what I even mean by that.
For now I'm just going to keep drawing and thinking and plotting and hopefully one day I will be able to live in Japan and to fulfill this dream that I have. The only one I have as for now.
And thus, I will now go back to my assignment.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
A strong identity
You know, words can't make much sense in my head anymore; always jumping from one thing to another in a chaotic manner.
But the Chaos Theory states that even in chaos, you can find order. I still have yet to find a proper distinguishable one though.
Talking with people and making new friends, it's supposed to make you feel even more connected isn't it?
At least I know why I was a loner to begin with. It's cause I'm such a control-freak and I directly sabotage myself whenever someone tries to get closer with me. Maybe I'm just selfishly protecting myself, not wanting another person to invade in my space.
I'm sure that I like people, really. It's just that whenever they get too close to my comfort zone, I start to behave in such a way that it'd repel them. I guess I still can't trust people too easily but then again, I'm not the only one with this problem.
Small things happen everyday but it doesn't make that day anymore special does it? I'm still unable to differentiate the days, to pin them down with certain memories to it.
It's at this point that I wonder whether or not all of this has anything to do with me giving up on him. In fact, I think that somewhere deep inside, I still have feelings for him, as much as I really hate to admit.
With the cars passing outside and floating laughter from the ground floor, all that I can feel is distance.
I constantly surround myself with people because they make me forget the other side of me but towards the end of the lesson, that other side slowly wakes up and by the time I reach home, I'm as silent as a petrified corpse.
Sometimes when I look inside the mirror and stare back at myself I wonder who that person is, someone who has changed a lot from her high school image, someone I barely recognise. Where did she go? Did I silently kill her in the pursuit of something which was ephemeral?
Assignments and homework are piling up but I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to sit here and stare at the window as the world goes by. I'm sorry.
But the Chaos Theory states that even in chaos, you can find order. I still have yet to find a proper distinguishable one though.
Talking with people and making new friends, it's supposed to make you feel even more connected isn't it?
At least I know why I was a loner to begin with. It's cause I'm such a control-freak and I directly sabotage myself whenever someone tries to get closer with me. Maybe I'm just selfishly protecting myself, not wanting another person to invade in my space.
I'm sure that I like people, really. It's just that whenever they get too close to my comfort zone, I start to behave in such a way that it'd repel them. I guess I still can't trust people too easily but then again, I'm not the only one with this problem.
Small things happen everyday but it doesn't make that day anymore special does it? I'm still unable to differentiate the days, to pin them down with certain memories to it.
It's at this point that I wonder whether or not all of this has anything to do with me giving up on him. In fact, I think that somewhere deep inside, I still have feelings for him, as much as I really hate to admit.
With the cars passing outside and floating laughter from the ground floor, all that I can feel is distance.
I constantly surround myself with people because they make me forget the other side of me but towards the end of the lesson, that other side slowly wakes up and by the time I reach home, I'm as silent as a petrified corpse.
Sometimes when I look inside the mirror and stare back at myself I wonder who that person is, someone who has changed a lot from her high school image, someone I barely recognise. Where did she go? Did I silently kill her in the pursuit of something which was ephemeral?
Assignments and homework are piling up but I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to sit here and stare at the window as the world goes by. I'm sorry.
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