You have no idea

Really.


You seriously have no idea how much I like you.


The first time we virtually communicated, I was shaking like really bad, as much as I hate to admit it, and yes it sounds very exaggerated but it's the truth.


I couldn't stop blushing for 10 minutes.


And you weren't even here.


I couldn't even stop moving and jumping and rolling on the bed.


Because I was that happy.


And then today when you guys sat right next to us, I was too afraid to even look in your direction which, previously, I was never shameless to do.


In fact, I couldn't eat properly.


Because my hands kept on going to my face because I honestly wondered how my face could get so hot so fast and last for more than 40 minutes.


Even people wondered why I had a fever.


But it wasn't a fever cause I'm feeling relatively very cool now and my cheeks aren't burning up.


I really really really want to talk to you and say "Hi" but I have no idea whatsoever in doing the first move without screwing up cause I've never really experienced something like this in real life.


In real life.


Cause I've been living in an all girls school for 10 years.


I wish words could come to me as easily as they can whenever I talk to other people, even strangers that I've just met.


I think it's partly cause you are a combination of two things that I used to (and still might) fear.


A. You are a senior.


B. You are a guy.


I'm really scared and I sound like some fluffed up girly girl but I really am scared.


I'm scared of making the first move and ending up looking like a fool because I have no idea how to read signals and clues and indications as to whether or not you're interested in me or as to whether or not I should really take the first step.


I need to get more confidence.