Silence is the silent killer

I can't lie by saying that I'm feeling okay right now, I just can't.


I feel like a fool. Like a super huge fool.


Why?


I'm scared that I'll let tears fall down at any moment.


What happened?


A lot really.


I thought, well, I felt, Actually, as full of myself as this will sound, I do think that he's at least interested in me.


The Graduation Committee and the A&P Committee had set up a kind of bulletin place where we can stick post-its for our graduating seniors and classmates so you can only bet what I did.


I wrote him a post-it.


I stayed up till 1 am, racking up my brains to think of words that wouldn't imply anything too bad or love-ish in any sense.


It took me three post-its to even write his name in what I thought was as perfect as it could get.


I didn't write my name or even a code name.


I just drew something to symbolize me.


I didn't sleep well last night.


Then this morning, I almost got caught putting the note up but I pretended to just walk past by the board despite having a stack of post-its in my hands.


During the first break, I couldn't see him cause I had to go for a meeting but there was this one time that I was trying to catch a glimpse of him in the crowd and then I saw one of his friends looking at me so I pretended that I was looking for my friends. Then I left.


You must be wondering, "What makes you think he's interested in you?"


I have a habit of going down to the cafeteria early to take a table that is around the place where he usually sits but I never take a table that's directly next to him or anything.


He, on the other hand, somehow always manages to get a table with his friends that is relatively very close to the table where I sit.


Like today.


I thought I was hearing voices to my left cause when I turned to my left, I didn't see him there but the next time I looked, he was sitting down with his friends so I looked away.


And for the few moments that I was alone, he made it a point to talk quite loudly. Quite.


And then when his gang stood up to leave, he kind of hung back in the cafeteria like he was waiting for something and he was within my line of vision.


Things like these have gradually increased from the beginning of February till now.


And you know what I'd really love to do?


I'd love to text him just out of the blue cause you know why?


He'll be gone in two days.


Why am I such a shy git?


Too worn out to think any further. Going to sleep soon.

Smiling

In short, he smiled at me today.


He grinned at me.


And it was no mistake because he turned 180 degrees to face me and he looked at me and he gave me a grin.


I wanted to not be sure in a way but as soon as he grinned at me, two people immediately said to me "OMG HE SMILED AT YOU!!!!!!!"


So, in conclusion, that was not a dream.


Nor was it a daydream.


And of all the things I could've done, I did the stupidest action which was to blush and bury my face in my hands.


Fool.


I hope I don't become stupid like that anymore.


And yes, that really really really made my day. :)